Book Review – Ninja Versus Pirate Featuring Zombies

This was one of those books where the title and jacket copy was so hilarious I had to pick it up. I can’t remember if I got this in Toronto, Edmonton or Dallas (I have odd travel habits). I rarely just buy a book based on the cover but this one halted me as I was browsing the aisles at a Barnes and Noble.

Check out the cover art:

Book Cover

Isn’t that awesome? It’s got a dude in the Pope hat with a crow on his shoulder, a unicorn and a cute girl and a freaking ninja. Here’s the jacket copy from Amazon:

In a world where ZOMBIES control banks and governments, only one young man sees the way things are and emerges from the CHAOS and destruction: GUY BOY MAN. While he tries to end human suffering worldwide and in his high school, Guy Boy Man meets a cute PINK-HAIRED girl named BABY DOLL15 who has a UNICORN that follows her everywhere. An EPIC ROMANCE begins, but forces BEYOND THEIR CONTROL are intent on keeping the young couple apart. One of those FORCES may— or may not be!— Guy Boy Man’ s closest friend, a handsome African-American NINJA named SWEETIE HONEY; another could be four EXOTICALLY BEAUTIFUL, genetically engineered and behaviourally modified EASTERN EUROPEAN girls; yet another, the principal of their HIGH SCHOOL?.?.?. not to mention an impending standardized test known as the ZOMBIE ACCEPTANCE TEST! Will Guy Boy Man find a way to be with Baby Doll15 in a WORLD WHERE EVERYONE IS DOOMED to become either zombies or zombie food??!!

I was pretty much sold on this alone. I don’t regret it, this book is hilarious. Going to try and be less wordy here. My other reviews made me think ‘too long, didn’t read’ and I love to read.

Tearing It Apart

The biggest flaw this book has is also part of the humor. The characterization is a little funky. It’s really hard to tear a book apart when the parts you find terrible are actually part of the satire. It’s very well written on top of that, so not much to tear up, and I can’t be funnier than the author even if I wanted to.

The only thing I can really say here is that the satire gets a bit too preachy sometimes and comes down pretty hard on Americans in places. It’s not as if what he’s saying isn’t true though and hey, we can take it.

I don’t know if it’s a first novel or what, but it reads kind of like a manifesto of sorts. The story takes second place to Guy Boy Man’s internal monologue and exposition. This kind of gets old as it is really hard to tell exactly how much time has passed because of him talking to himself.

The cover price is a bit high for a paperback but since this comes from an indie publisher that’s to be expected. My only regret with it was I didn’t get it in e-book format. The thing is though, I would have never read this book if I hadn’t seen it in the bookstore and thought it funny. So maybe there’s something to be said for dead trees still.

Singing Its Praises

The book is hilarious. I have read few books quite so funny as this. It’s more about the protagonists internal ramblings than any coherent story and with all the pop culture references and jokes you end up not caring too much about the plot anyway.

The descriptions of the action sequences are great. Not because they paint a good mind picture, but because of how he words things. They also paint a good mind picture. I really like the descriptions of things, the use of metaphor is at times brilliant and almost always hilarious.

I don’t know why but it reminded me of Metagame (another book you should read now) by Sam Landstrom. I think it’s the way the narration is done. First person, a bit rambling and a bit ‘trendy’ or ‘hip’ in the phrasing. I could also be the using an internet username as a real name thing. Probably both.

Truly good satire is a rare thing these days and I think the author has done a very good job with it. One example is how he keeps saying unicorns are Biblical animals. He has no problem with the fact that one keeps following his girlfriend around. Because they’re totally real right? They are mentioned in the Bible and I believe in the Bible so it’s no surprise they exist. Obviously I’m mimicking the style of writing in the book, but if wouldn’t surprise me if the last two sentences could be found in the book, almost verbatim.

Who Should Read It?

This book will appeal to the immature among us all. Mainly it’s geared towards men, but I think just about anyone can find it entertaining. If you like to read stuff that’s just purely entertaining, funny, and somewhat random, you’ll love this books.

Personally I’ll pick up the next book in the series “Zombie Versus Fairie Featuring Albinos” as soon as I see it available.

The Author

Did a little digging and found Mr. Marshall on the internet. Got this weird idea he’d be hard to find because the Amazon link to his name pulls basically nothing up and you have to dig a bit to find the real author page. Anyway he lives in British Columbia, Canada (which is kind of like saying “Alaska, USA”, kind of a big place).

His Twitter is: @james_marshall
His Contact e-mail can be found here. 

I didn’t find a Facebook page for anything but the book. I haven’t posted many reviews but I do welcome authors to contact me with this kind of information if they



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